The Courier That Forgot (New Vegas)
by FalloutNow
Summary: Nearly killed during the battle of Hoover Dam, this courier remembers almost nothing, not even his own name. In charge of Independent New Vegas, yet with the NCR and the strip families trying to take his position, this amnesiac president heads off into the wastes with Yes Man and his pet monkey, in order to find out who he really is. Yet his past is darker then he would've imagined


FONV FANFIC

The Courier that Forgot (New Vegas)

(Hello everyone, this is my first fic, but I'm excited to have it out here! Please enjoy it and critique it, I know how rough fallout fics get so I'm going to try to keep humor going throughout the plotline, Thanks!)

Chapter One:

"Screw the NCR"

"Sir, the citizens are upset", The NCR trooper cautioned, his beret in his hands, his head facing downwards.

The President continued playing with his yo-yo, ignoring the visitor.

"Sir, Mr. President, the NCR sent me here, because the people are up-"

"Upset, yea, you already said that" Said the courier, still lounging in his brown leather chair, now still pulling the string, in between his index and middle finger, back up to his hand, and catching it, only to throw it back down.

"Just tell me what you want, I have bigger fish to feed."

The soldier stumbled a second, thrown off by the odd grown man playing with a toy, as well as the mixed metaphor, then continued:

"Sir, they, uh, want to know your name."

The yo-yo caught in his hand, the strange leader looked at the trooper coldly, or rather, tried to, but instead looked severely constipated, being serious wasn't his forte.

The trooper, seeing the man's unfortunate face, continued hurriedly.

"The people of New Vegas are unhappy having a leader who can't remember anything, even his own name, and they are demanding a meeting to change the leadership situation and the NCR believes that this wo-"

"Stop right there" said president nameless, "I saved New Vegas from the Legion, I stopped the tyranny of Mr. House" he now dropped his yo-yo and stood up "I brought a new age of progress to this city" he walked forward, getting angrier by each step "A golden age! I turned this 'Oasis' into 'Paradise' this is the jewel of the wasteland, was under attack and I SAVED IT. So if you believe for one second that another leader could LEAD THIS CITY then by all means come and OWWW SHIT FUCK OWWWWawmanwhatwasTHAT" The president was now hopping on one foot, holding up the bare, injured foot and yelling obscenities. He looked off to the right, in the direction of the Lucky 38 kitchen.

"YES MAN"

"Yes, boss!" The cheerful robot entered, bring a plate of warm cookies as he rolled across the cold floor of the Lucky 38 meeting room. "Does your guest want some cookies?" He asked in his-too-happy-to-be-human robot sing song voice.

"NO, WHO LEFT THESE JACKS ON THE FLOOR" Nameless yelled, pointing to the small spiky toys littered on the floor.

"You did, Boss" The cheery robot replied, looking at the guest. "Welcome! Did you come to talk to Mr. President? Are you a guest?" He said to the trooper.

"No, he's just an asshole working for the NCR." No name replied "Go get me some ice Yes Man."

"Sure thing, boss!" The machine put a large white plate of chocolate chip cookies on the grey meeting table, and left for the kitchen.

"Anyway, what was I saying?"

The trooper, who had finally sat down, still looking confused, began to answer.

Mr. Vegas cut him off "Oh yeah, that's right, you're an asshole, the NCRs an asshole, go tell them to lick my big, amnesiac dick." He sat down, still caressing his foot.

The NCR soldier paused, as though considering telling the president off, then took the humanitarian approach.

"Sir, it would be for the best if you took leave, and worked on your health situation, according to the followers diagnostics:" the trooper produced a manila folder "you have 'severe head trauma, several bullet wounds near the brain, amnesia, non-patterned memory loss, selective memory loss, loss of much cognitive brain activity, lack of proper emotional demonstration' and according to one doctor, you are 'nuttier then a bighorn shit'. All of this sustained from the damages at Hoover Dam." He looks up, and gives it straight "You are not fit to lead, let the NCR help."

This is met by silence in the Lucky 38 meeting room, the loud sounds of New Vegas are faintly heard from outside, and tension holds inside the casino, as the President looks down at the table, pondering his decision.

Finally, he looks up,

"Okay, I see what you mean by what you say, but consider this," The President pauses, then looks right at the trooper, sticks out his tongue and makes a "pppbbbbbbbtttttttttttt" sound.

The trooper sighs, "They told me you were crazy, but I didn't think you were stupid."

"Here's my final offer" He slides a folder across the table, it lands in front of president no name.

However, the president doesn't look up, but instead narrows his eyes at the envelope, he knows what about to go down. Time briefly slows down as the president assesses the situation, he knows that the folder is empty, and the trooper is planning to kill him, if the soldier had an envelope he would've gave it at the beginning of the meeting, it was a distraction, and it's not going to work. Quickly, No Name falls below the desk as the first bullet rings out.

Several more shots ring out, deafening the president while he pulls out his loaded .357 magnum from his back pants pocket, and puts it above the desk, firing a shot in the direction of the assailant. The continuing shots show that the trooper is still alive, the president rolls out from the desk and towards a nearby wall, pushing his back against it and using it as cover. The president feels the cold weight of his pistol as his adrenaline pressures him to make a move and save himself.

No Name waits for the bullets to stop then turns around, sees the opponent then lets out a big "Fuck you!" while firing a shot in the chest, head, then dick. All shots hit and the trooper crumples over, dead, the brief firefight over.

Pres. Nameless' adrenaline slowly fades out as Yes Man comes reenters the room, taking in the sight of the dead body.

"Again? I just cleaned the carpet!" Yes Man jokes.

"Ha-ha, real funny."

"I'm just sad he didn't have a cookie, _they were to die for_" Yes Man punned, punningly.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" the New Vegas leader replied, and despite trying to remain serious, he burst out laughing. "Who programmed puns into you?" he sputters, after the laughing slows.

"You of course, boss!" Oh, right

"Well, I'll have one of your cookies, buddy" The Courier replied, his friendly demeanor returning, putting his pistol back in his black jeans, and grabbing the plate of cookies, and taking a large bite out of the shiny white plate.

"WHAT, this isn't good at all! Its, its hard and cold and tasteless, I thought you could cook Yes Man! Why is this so sharp! Shlit, my mouf is bleeding, what the thuck ith thith. Ahh, my mouf.

"Umm, boss?" Yes Man cautioned

"OW, what? Thith hurts."

"That's the plate, you're supposed to eat the uh, brown things on top Boss, those are the cookies."

"Oh thit really?"

"Yes Sir!"

The president, both embarrassed and bleeding from the mouth, (severe memory loss does this kind of thing) grabbed a cookie from the now-bitten plate, and bit.

"Oh yeah, thethe are good." He muttered through an injured tongue "Good job"

…

"Maybe you should see a doctor, boss."

"I know"

Chapter 2

"Exposition"

"Boss, I know you're always right, but I think you need see a doctor" Yes Man cautions

"After all Boss, we don't want your brown haired head to be hurt, or your brown eyes to be blinded."

The Nameless Courier finally opens the bathroom door, toilet paper stuck to his combat boots, and peaks through the gap between the door and the wall.

"It's kind of weird that you're talking to me through the bathroom door, Yes Man."

"Boss, Boss, Boss," Yes Man says "I know I'm not supposed to disagree with you, but it'd break my heart if one hair on your shorter-then-average-body got hurt, it being only 5'7"".

"What?" The President looked up, now out of the bathroom and suddenly very confused "Are you like, insulting me?"

"No! I apologize for it sounding like that, Boss." Yes Man stuttered out "But when I look at your leather jacket bound body, it matching the color of your hair, when I see your dark green combat helmet, almost covering your dark brown eyes, and your dark blue jeans, a little long on your hobbit body-"

"Hey, fuck you"

"Sorry Boss, it's just that at 23 years old, I can't stand to see you-"

"Wait wait" The President interrupted again, the robot didn't get mad though, Yes Man is programmed to always respect his boss. "Are you…?"

"Am I what Boss?" Yes Man replied "Very grateful for your leadership of New Vegas, all two months of it so far? Yessir!"

"Are you giving a description of me to give the reader an idea of what I look like and how I act?" The Forgetful Courier accused.

The cheerful robot looked appalled for once.

"Why, Boss, I don't know what you mean."

The Courier caught YM's obvious lie.

"Yes you do, you're naming all my characteristics for the sake of exposition!" He was angry now.

Yes Man was afraid of his leaders rage, yet continued anyway, as though led by some invisible force.

"I know living in Goodsprings since your Mother's death at 6 has been hard, especially since you never met your father".

"Ouch, touchy subject" The NV leader says, injured.

"And while good with words, and great at convincing people to do stupid things." Yes Man continued, "You've never been good with girls."

"Well, uh" Courier X stammered "Maybe I'm gay!"

"Then why did I find under your bed, a magazine that has explicit pictures of-"

"UH UM THAT'S ENOUGH" The President panicked, surprised that the robot had found his uhh, 'personal' magazines.

A pregnant pause filled the Lucky 38 casino floor. Yes Mans internal gears were spinning however.

"This lack of serious relationships has led to severe self-confidence issues within you, which still remain today, and before the 'accident' you filled this insecurity void by traveling around the Mojave and killing baddies." Yes Man stated confidently.

Many emotions flew through the president's head, yet finally only acceptance came to fruition, it had only been three hours since he killed the NCR trooper, and he was tired, so he accepted his robot companions monologue.

"Friends are fast and flying for you, you only had one best bud in Goodsprings, Boss," It was obvious that this was programmed into Yes Man somewhere, likely by the Courier himself, perhaps to rudely remind himself of how he works. "And despite your slick tongue, which had wiggled you out of nasty situations before, you couldn't stop Tommy, your best friend from joining the powder gangers, couldn't talk him out of it, so you weren't there to see him blow himself up with dynamite, to die from bleeding out, alone, in a bottom of a ditch, with no friends."

The whole atmosphere had changed in the casino floor, and in a sudden flurry of emotions, resulting from these revelations, the poor courier now sat in the corner, his eyes soaking his jacket sleeve, he hadn't been able to keep his composure while these memories flooded back to him.

"You have forgotten this before, and will forget it again if you don't fix this, Courier, I have a feeling it'll get worse before it gets better, end transmission 38." Yes Man stated robotically, then paused and hovered near the sobbing courier.

"That was transcript from past-you Boss…" Yes Man spoke soberly "He, you, know you need help, Boss."

The Courier sniffled and sobbed for what seemed to be hours before he spat out a promise:

"Fine, we'll go to the Followers tomorrow."

"Promise Boss?"

"Promise."

"And uh, Yes Man?"

"Yes, Man?" The robot joked

"If you call me a hobbit again I swear to god I'll break you down into a toaster."

The robot didn't joke after that.


End file.
